Monday, April 4, 2011

Leaving Kicking & Screaming

*Sorry I know its been over a week without a post, I have been really sick, never vomited sooo much in my life (Sorry is that to much info?) anyhoooo I'm going away tomorrow for 2 nights so I will be wrapping up this season soon! Sorry guys! :)


Last night was a blast, Zoe and Georgie called some people from the magazine like Minnie, Yasmine, Leigh and some of the freelance girls and guys that I’ve had a fair bit to do with came and Belle, Chelsea, and Lesley to meet us for dinner! AND my sister Grace and her partner Simon, they left baby Harrison at home though :(.

We arrived at the restaurant about 8.30pm, I was completely surprised by everyone that had come, and as far as I was concerned it was just Zoe, Georgie and I, it turns out they’d organised a few of my nearest and dearest to bid me farewell.

“You guys didn’t have to do this!” I said embracing them both with tears in my eyes.

“We had to do something special for you; we’re not seeing you for 3 months.” Georgie said also getting teary, we had a group hug and then it was time for us to greet all the guests.

Grace and I were bouncing around to; she was wearing this beautiful short dress she’d actually lost most of her baby weight already, and Simon was looking really happy but exhausted, Yasmine was about 7 months gone now so Grace and her spent a lot of time talking about baby business. My sister was beaming, motherhood suited her, she was glowing and Simon was watching her with the biggest smile.

It was great to see everyone I loved under one roof, we were all dancing and drinking and I was having an amazing time. Eventually people started clearing out but some of the Radiance girls and Georgie, Grace, Zoe and I kept on dancing for most of the night and well into the next day. Danny even made a little appearance but the coaches are kicking the teams butts in training, I guess it’s cause its nearing finals time and they need to get practicing their old strategy now Nathans back.

I realised how much I was going to miss these girls, I’ve always been a girl that’s blessed with many friends, most great, but this group, well it the thought of leaving them and my job and my general comforts makes me feel physically ill, and on top of all that leaving my brand new baby nephew, who’d I only met a handful of times anyway was going to be tough.

“Are you all packed and ready?” Grace asked, we were taking a break from out dancathon.

“I’m packed, and I’m ready I guess.” I smiled.

“You guess?” She asked.

“Things are a little complicated. I wish I just had some closure, I’m referring to Nathan.”

“No shit Sherlock, are you going to see him before you leave?” Grace asked lightly.

“I can’t decide, in a way I want to so bad, but then again it would be nice just to go to Paris and be completely free of everything.”

“Will you really be free of everything if you don’t talk to him?” Grace asked.

I hesitated for a second and Grace jumped in.

“You’re a big scaredy cat Paris Lorre, it sucks you were hurt by him but now you too afraid to the mess you both made, clearly Nathan was wrong but you’re not any better by not giving him a chance to explain himself. The boy wants to talk to you, don’t be so freakin’ stubborn and at the very least hear him out.” She finished breathless gave me a kiss on the cheek and went back to dancing. She certainly told me.

With that I decided to take a breath of fresh air outside and do what I had been putting off all night. I had to listen to the voicemail Nathan had left me…

“Paris, I know you don’t want to talk to me. But you can’t leave the country without letting me explain, I know I’m an ass and don’t deserve it but I NEED to talk to you.” He finished.

The desperation in his voice was evident, he was hurting but so was I, so why do I always have to be the bigger person, why couldn’t I kick and scream and refuse to do what EVERYONE expected me to do?