There’s really no way to describe Paris and do it justice. It’s the most beautiful, enticing, wonderful place in the world, and if you are alone well it can be absolute torture.
As much as I love Paris the people are often reluctant to help someone who is struggling with the French language. Which is me, I have absoutley NO grasp on other languages, I can kinda make sense out of Italian and Spanish but French well I might as well be listening to made up language or a personal joke between two lovers.
Despite the small (massive) language barrier I had made quite a life for myself, its funny I’ve only been here for a month but at the same time it feels like I have sloted in perfectly to my new life in Paris.
I absolutely love my roommate Jai and instead of getting my own place we’ve decided that I would just stay here with her for the remainder of my trip. She’s such a sweetheart but shes honest as hell, shes basically a walking contraditction.
I know you’re all wondering what happened with Nathan, well we remain in limbo, stuck between heaven (our former relationship) and hell (also our former relationship). His speech at the airport although induced tears left little of an explaintion that I needed.
“Paris.” Nathan said looking relieved when he finally saw me.
“Nathan, I’ve got a plane to catch, I can’t do this here.” I said exasperated.
“Just give me a couple of minutes. I need to talk to you.”
“So you keep saying, but do you actually have anything to say?” I questioned.
“I do, I know how I treated you, I know I was a complete dick and you didn’t deserve any of it.”
“Ok, why then?” I countered coldly.
“Honestly I’m gonna need months of therpy to work that out, I knew when I was doing it that things weren’t right. That stuff with Becky…I was stupid and I..I should have prepared better for this.”
“I think you’re right about the months of therpy, and lucky you have three of them before I get back, I love you Nathan, but I will never allow myself to be treated that way again and I think you need to work out what happened and why it did…” I said raising a hand and placing it on his cheek.
“Ok and that’s fair enough, well I will see you in three months I suppose.” He said tears filling his eyes but nto allowing any to spill over.
“Can I ask you something? If you don’t want to answer that’s fine, its more about my own insecurities.” I asked and at Nathan’s nod, I asked, “Did you ever cheat on me? At any point in during our relationship?”
“No I never cheated on you Paris, I wouldn’t do that to anyone, especially you.” He said.
“I hope we can work it out Nathan, I think we really could be amazing.” I said pulling him in for a hug.
“I know we can be.” He whispered in my ear.
Oh and why the fake roses? Well you cant take real ones onboard and he wanted me to remember him during my whole trip and it was working, perfectly.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
D-Day
Today’s the day it happens. Today’s the day I throw my life in to turmoil for the prospect of something different. The city of romance and art, good things happen in Paris. It’s just a cab ride, 22 hour flight with a short stop off in Singapore and another cab and I’m home for the next 3 months. I really don’t know what emotion is more powerful, the excitement or the utter fear that’s pumping through my body. I wasn’t a virgin to this travelling thing, I’d done it lots before even for longer period of time but something in me was fighting this particular adventure and it was getting hard to ignore.
“I’m going to miss you so much.” Georgie said giving me a massive hug.
“I’m going to miss you too.” I said getting teary.
Zoe was soon to quickly jump in for a hug and a quick pep talk in my ear.
I asked them both not to come to the airport with me, I probably wouldn’t have gotten on the plane if they insisted on coming with me, I already felt the tears brimming.
“Now I only want you to think about us when you send us our daily emails, our twice weekly skype sessions and weekly phones calls!” Zoe said.
I laughed out loud and just as quickly I began crying, “I…I don’t want to go.” I sobbed, I was close to having a full blown mental attack, Zoe and Georgie shared a look of, WTF do we do?
“I’m sorry, yes I do want to go. I’m being ridiculous. I’m beyond excited.” I said, it sounded like I was trying to convince myself of something I wasn’t sure of. Like when you know you need to wash your hair but convince yourself one more day of dry shampoo will be fine, and its totally not.
The cab ride was exhausting I was balling my eyes out, it probably didn’t that I was in the middle of major PMS. Nathan was also in the forefront of my mind, I couldn’t help but replay our relationship in my head, the happy times, the sad times, the special times, it was all getting to much.
The cab driver was watching my break down from the mirror, “are you ok miss?” He asked multiple times, I’d reply with the same bland response, “I’m fine, I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”
I checked into my flight avoiding any major dramas, the girl that was checking me in did a double take at me, I guess the red swollen eyes alerted her to me. Go figure.
Just as I was about to walk through customs an officer waiting at the beginning of the line tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to follow him, thoughts raced through my head, what had I done wrong? I’d been in the fricken line minding my own business.
“Just go back out there miss theres somebody waiting for you, and don’t look so panicked you’re not in trouble.” He said customs officers with a wink and a smile.
“Um so what exactly is the problem? I have a plane to catch to Paris.” I said bewildered.
“I’m sure it wont take long, just trust me and go out there.” He said nicely but quite firmly.
I agreed and walked outside where none other then Nathan was waiting, with a bunch of fake roses.
“I’m going to miss you so much.” Georgie said giving me a massive hug.
“I’m going to miss you too.” I said getting teary.
Zoe was soon to quickly jump in for a hug and a quick pep talk in my ear.
I asked them both not to come to the airport with me, I probably wouldn’t have gotten on the plane if they insisted on coming with me, I already felt the tears brimming.
“Now I only want you to think about us when you send us our daily emails, our twice weekly skype sessions and weekly phones calls!” Zoe said.
I laughed out loud and just as quickly I began crying, “I…I don’t want to go.” I sobbed, I was close to having a full blown mental attack, Zoe and Georgie shared a look of, WTF do we do?
“I’m sorry, yes I do want to go. I’m being ridiculous. I’m beyond excited.” I said, it sounded like I was trying to convince myself of something I wasn’t sure of. Like when you know you need to wash your hair but convince yourself one more day of dry shampoo will be fine, and its totally not.
The cab ride was exhausting I was balling my eyes out, it probably didn’t that I was in the middle of major PMS. Nathan was also in the forefront of my mind, I couldn’t help but replay our relationship in my head, the happy times, the sad times, the special times, it was all getting to much.
The cab driver was watching my break down from the mirror, “are you ok miss?” He asked multiple times, I’d reply with the same bland response, “I’m fine, I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”
I checked into my flight avoiding any major dramas, the girl that was checking me in did a double take at me, I guess the red swollen eyes alerted her to me. Go figure.
Just as I was about to walk through customs an officer waiting at the beginning of the line tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to follow him, thoughts raced through my head, what had I done wrong? I’d been in the fricken line minding my own business.
“Just go back out there miss theres somebody waiting for you, and don’t look so panicked you’re not in trouble.” He said customs officers with a wink and a smile.
“Um so what exactly is the problem? I have a plane to catch to Paris.” I said bewildered.
“I’m sure it wont take long, just trust me and go out there.” He said nicely but quite firmly.
I agreed and walked outside where none other then Nathan was waiting, with a bunch of fake roses.
Friday, June 17, 2011
I'm sorry
Just letting everyone know I'm ok, sorry if I worried anyone (Mum!), you will have a post soon, I'm just writing a couple too get ahead and you'll have some!
I know I sound like a broken record but ALOT of stuff has been going on! Anyhoo I will give you a date for next post asap!
Love Amy
I know I sound like a broken record but ALOT of stuff has been going on! Anyhoo I will give you a date for next post asap!
Love Amy
Monday, April 4, 2011
Leaving Kicking & Screaming
*Sorry I know its been over a week without a post, I have been really sick, never vomited sooo much in my life (Sorry is that to much info?) anyhoooo I'm going away tomorrow for 2 nights so I will be wrapping up this season soon! Sorry guys! :)
Last night was a blast, Zoe and Georgie called some people from the magazine like Minnie, Yasmine, Leigh and some of the freelance girls and guys that I’ve had a fair bit to do with came and Belle, Chelsea, and Lesley to meet us for dinner! AND my sister Grace and her partner Simon, they left baby Harrison at home though :(.
We arrived at the restaurant about 8.30pm, I was completely surprised by everyone that had come, and as far as I was concerned it was just Zoe, Georgie and I, it turns out they’d organised a few of my nearest and dearest to bid me farewell.
“You guys didn’t have to do this!” I said embracing them both with tears in my eyes.
“We had to do something special for you; we’re not seeing you for 3 months.” Georgie said also getting teary, we had a group hug and then it was time for us to greet all the guests.
Grace and I were bouncing around to; she was wearing this beautiful short dress she’d actually lost most of her baby weight already, and Simon was looking really happy but exhausted, Yasmine was about 7 months gone now so Grace and her spent a lot of time talking about baby business. My sister was beaming, motherhood suited her, she was glowing and Simon was watching her with the biggest smile.
It was great to see everyone I loved under one roof, we were all dancing and drinking and I was having an amazing time. Eventually people started clearing out but some of the Radiance girls and Georgie, Grace, Zoe and I kept on dancing for most of the night and well into the next day. Danny even made a little appearance but the coaches are kicking the teams butts in training, I guess it’s cause its nearing finals time and they need to get practicing their old strategy now Nathans back.
I realised how much I was going to miss these girls, I’ve always been a girl that’s blessed with many friends, most great, but this group, well it the thought of leaving them and my job and my general comforts makes me feel physically ill, and on top of all that leaving my brand new baby nephew, who’d I only met a handful of times anyway was going to be tough.
“Are you all packed and ready?” Grace asked, we were taking a break from out dancathon.
“I’m packed, and I’m ready I guess.” I smiled.
“You guess?” She asked.
“Things are a little complicated. I wish I just had some closure, I’m referring to Nathan.”
“No shit Sherlock, are you going to see him before you leave?” Grace asked lightly.
“I can’t decide, in a way I want to so bad, but then again it would be nice just to go to Paris and be completely free of everything.”
“Will you really be free of everything if you don’t talk to him?” Grace asked.
I hesitated for a second and Grace jumped in.
“You’re a big scaredy cat Paris Lorre, it sucks you were hurt by him but now you too afraid to the mess you both made, clearly Nathan was wrong but you’re not any better by not giving him a chance to explain himself. The boy wants to talk to you, don’t be so freakin’ stubborn and at the very least hear him out.” She finished breathless gave me a kiss on the cheek and went back to dancing. She certainly told me.
With that I decided to take a breath of fresh air outside and do what I had been putting off all night. I had to listen to the voicemail Nathan had left me…
“Paris, I know you don’t want to talk to me. But you can’t leave the country without letting me explain, I know I’m an ass and don’t deserve it but I NEED to talk to you.” He finished.
The desperation in his voice was evident, he was hurting but so was I, so why do I always have to be the bigger person, why couldn’t I kick and scream and refuse to do what EVERYONE expected me to do?
Last night was a blast, Zoe and Georgie called some people from the magazine like Minnie, Yasmine, Leigh and some of the freelance girls and guys that I’ve had a fair bit to do with came and Belle, Chelsea, and Lesley to meet us for dinner! AND my sister Grace and her partner Simon, they left baby Harrison at home though :(.
We arrived at the restaurant about 8.30pm, I was completely surprised by everyone that had come, and as far as I was concerned it was just Zoe, Georgie and I, it turns out they’d organised a few of my nearest and dearest to bid me farewell.
“You guys didn’t have to do this!” I said embracing them both with tears in my eyes.
“We had to do something special for you; we’re not seeing you for 3 months.” Georgie said also getting teary, we had a group hug and then it was time for us to greet all the guests.
Grace and I were bouncing around to; she was wearing this beautiful short dress she’d actually lost most of her baby weight already, and Simon was looking really happy but exhausted, Yasmine was about 7 months gone now so Grace and her spent a lot of time talking about baby business. My sister was beaming, motherhood suited her, she was glowing and Simon was watching her with the biggest smile.
It was great to see everyone I loved under one roof, we were all dancing and drinking and I was having an amazing time. Eventually people started clearing out but some of the Radiance girls and Georgie, Grace, Zoe and I kept on dancing for most of the night and well into the next day. Danny even made a little appearance but the coaches are kicking the teams butts in training, I guess it’s cause its nearing finals time and they need to get practicing their old strategy now Nathans back.
I realised how much I was going to miss these girls, I’ve always been a girl that’s blessed with many friends, most great, but this group, well it the thought of leaving them and my job and my general comforts makes me feel physically ill, and on top of all that leaving my brand new baby nephew, who’d I only met a handful of times anyway was going to be tough.
“Are you all packed and ready?” Grace asked, we were taking a break from out dancathon.
“I’m packed, and I’m ready I guess.” I smiled.
“You guess?” She asked.
“Things are a little complicated. I wish I just had some closure, I’m referring to Nathan.”
“No shit Sherlock, are you going to see him before you leave?” Grace asked lightly.
“I can’t decide, in a way I want to so bad, but then again it would be nice just to go to Paris and be completely free of everything.”
“Will you really be free of everything if you don’t talk to him?” Grace asked.
I hesitated for a second and Grace jumped in.
“You’re a big scaredy cat Paris Lorre, it sucks you were hurt by him but now you too afraid to the mess you both made, clearly Nathan was wrong but you’re not any better by not giving him a chance to explain himself. The boy wants to talk to you, don’t be so freakin’ stubborn and at the very least hear him out.” She finished breathless gave me a kiss on the cheek and went back to dancing. She certainly told me.
With that I decided to take a breath of fresh air outside and do what I had been putting off all night. I had to listen to the voicemail Nathan had left me…
“Paris, I know you don’t want to talk to me. But you can’t leave the country without letting me explain, I know I’m an ass and don’t deserve it but I NEED to talk to you.” He finished.
The desperation in his voice was evident, he was hurting but so was I, so why do I always have to be the bigger person, why couldn’t I kick and scream and refuse to do what EVERYONE expected me to do?
Sunday, March 27, 2011
2 Weeks Later
“I can’t believe your leaving in two days.” Georgie said, she was sitting on my bed ‘helping’ me pack.
“I know, it’s gone so fast.” I said.
“As long as it only for three months!” Zoe bargained, she was also ‘helping’.
“It is only three months, I promise.” I soothed.
“Ok, it’s settled we’re going out tonight, all of us.” Georgie said.
“Nah, I’ve got too much to do tonight.”
“No, where going out! It doesn’t have to be a late one, just a fun one!” Zoe encouraged.
“Just no.”I said laughing, I was vaguely aware that they were going to win.
“OK, it’s settled we will be leaving here at like 8 for dinner, does that work for you Zoe?” Georgie asked, sending multiple texts from her phone.
“Yeah, that gives us, what? Like 3 hours to sort ourselves out.” Zoe answered.
“Do I get any say in this?” I whined from the corner.
“No you don’t.” Georgie answered. “Alright, well you can just borrow one of my dresses, saves you going home.” She finished addressing Zoe.
“Ooo good idea, let’s go have a look in your cupboard.”
“Guys I don-” that’s as far as I got in my protests, they were already talking over me and planning our nights adventures.
I continued to pack for a while, when I realised that it was a little too quiet between Zoe and Georgie, so I tip toed down the hallway to see what was going on...
“She’s not doing too well is she?”I heard Zoe ask.
“No, you should have seen it at Lesley’s house, she was shattered...he was too, but his a fine actor when need be.”
“Yeah, she didn’t really talk about it.” Zoe said.
“He needs to talk to her before she leaves.”
“I know, but I doubt she’s going to want to talk to him, and would he even want to talk to her?”
“Yeah, he does, well that’s what he said, he just doesn’t know how.” Georgie said.
“Well how are we going to organise it?” Zoe asked.
“You aren’t.” I said with venom in my voice that made them both jump. “I don’t want to see him, I’m sorry but you two are way out of line, I can’t see him, do you understand that? I CANT.” I finished off yelling and walking out of the room.
“Paris...wait, hold on.” I heard Georgie call out after me but it was too late I was already out the door.
I was walking down the stairs when I banged into someone, “I’m sorry, excuse me.” I muttered.
“Paris?” None other than Nathan Luken questioned me.
I sighed “I can’t do this Nathan, please just leave it.” I said as I walked away.
“Paris...” I heard him finish desperately.
“I know, it’s gone so fast.” I said.
“As long as it only for three months!” Zoe bargained, she was also ‘helping’.
“It is only three months, I promise.” I soothed.
“Ok, it’s settled we’re going out tonight, all of us.” Georgie said.
“Nah, I’ve got too much to do tonight.”
“No, where going out! It doesn’t have to be a late one, just a fun one!” Zoe encouraged.
“Just no.”I said laughing, I was vaguely aware that they were going to win.
“OK, it’s settled we will be leaving here at like 8 for dinner, does that work for you Zoe?” Georgie asked, sending multiple texts from her phone.
“Yeah, that gives us, what? Like 3 hours to sort ourselves out.” Zoe answered.
“Do I get any say in this?” I whined from the corner.
“No you don’t.” Georgie answered. “Alright, well you can just borrow one of my dresses, saves you going home.” She finished addressing Zoe.
“Ooo good idea, let’s go have a look in your cupboard.”
“Guys I don-” that’s as far as I got in my protests, they were already talking over me and planning our nights adventures.
I continued to pack for a while, when I realised that it was a little too quiet between Zoe and Georgie, so I tip toed down the hallway to see what was going on...
“She’s not doing too well is she?”I heard Zoe ask.
“No, you should have seen it at Lesley’s house, she was shattered...he was too, but his a fine actor when need be.”
“Yeah, she didn’t really talk about it.” Zoe said.
“He needs to talk to her before she leaves.”
“I know, but I doubt she’s going to want to talk to him, and would he even want to talk to her?”
“Yeah, he does, well that’s what he said, he just doesn’t know how.” Georgie said.
“Well how are we going to organise it?” Zoe asked.
“You aren’t.” I said with venom in my voice that made them both jump. “I don’t want to see him, I’m sorry but you two are way out of line, I can’t see him, do you understand that? I CANT.” I finished off yelling and walking out of the room.
“Paris...wait, hold on.” I heard Georgie call out after me but it was too late I was already out the door.
I was walking down the stairs when I banged into someone, “I’m sorry, excuse me.” I muttered.
“Paris?” None other than Nathan Luken questioned me.
I sighed “I can’t do this Nathan, please just leave it.” I said as I walked away.
“Paris...” I heard him finish desperately.
Friday, March 18, 2011
The Reunion To Postpone
“What are you doing here?”Nathan said getting out of the car when he finally spotted me.
I made a move to walk to Georgie’s car of course he blocked my path.
“Nathan please, just move.” I said.
“You’re at my house, why?” He asked.
“Nathan just leave it.” Georgie interrupted.
“No I want to talk to Paris.” He said, so Leslie ushered Georgie inside, they didn’t do anything about the bitch in the Nathan’s front seat.
“Paris, you shouldn’t be here.” Nathan said.
“I know, I’m sorry, I’m leaving.”
“You can’t just fuck me over and then hang out with my family.”
“Fuck you over?” I repeated.
“Yeah.” He said, so I deliberately looked towards Becky in his front seat.
“Don’t give me that, I’m single now.” He said with venom in his voice.
“I know, I just think that maybe you forgot you were in a relationship when you actually were.”
“No, you were there reminding me every step of the way...” He said.
“Right it’s all my fault...” I said with a bit of bite to my voice.
“You left me, I honestly don’t know why your here.”
“Me either...just let me go, please.” I pleaded.
He must have saw the desperation on my face because suddenly he looked as sad as I felt.
“I’m sorry; I’m being an ass...I just don’t get why we couldn’t work our shit out.” He said his voice lowering towards the end of the sentence and he kicked some imaginary dirt on the ground.
“You seem to be moving on just fine.” I said once again looking pointedly at Becky.
He looked back at her and then towards me...
“You made your choice Nathan.” I said waving for Georgie to come out, she was watching the scene ‘stealthily’ behind the curtain in Lesley’s living room.
I turned around and started walking towards Georgie’s car, Nathans grabbed my wrist, by the time I turned to face him, he’d already rethought his decision and was signalling for Becky to come inside.
I made a move to walk to Georgie’s car of course he blocked my path.
“Nathan please, just move.” I said.
“You’re at my house, why?” He asked.
“Nathan just leave it.” Georgie interrupted.
“No I want to talk to Paris.” He said, so Leslie ushered Georgie inside, they didn’t do anything about the bitch in the Nathan’s front seat.
“Paris, you shouldn’t be here.” Nathan said.
“I know, I’m sorry, I’m leaving.”
“You can’t just fuck me over and then hang out with my family.”
“Fuck you over?” I repeated.
“Yeah.” He said, so I deliberately looked towards Becky in his front seat.
“Don’t give me that, I’m single now.” He said with venom in his voice.
“I know, I just think that maybe you forgot you were in a relationship when you actually were.”
“No, you were there reminding me every step of the way...” He said.
“Right it’s all my fault...” I said with a bit of bite to my voice.
“You left me, I honestly don’t know why your here.”
“Me either...just let me go, please.” I pleaded.
He must have saw the desperation on my face because suddenly he looked as sad as I felt.
“I’m sorry; I’m being an ass...I just don’t get why we couldn’t work our shit out.” He said his voice lowering towards the end of the sentence and he kicked some imaginary dirt on the ground.
“You seem to be moving on just fine.” I said once again looking pointedly at Becky.
He looked back at her and then towards me...
“You made your choice Nathan.” I said waving for Georgie to come out, she was watching the scene ‘stealthily’ behind the curtain in Lesley’s living room.
I turned around and started walking towards Georgie’s car, Nathans grabbed my wrist, by the time I turned to face him, he’d already rethought his decision and was signalling for Becky to come inside.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Authors Note
Hey Guys,
I know I didn't post for a week but I'm doing my best, school is totally killing me at the moment I had 3 essays 2 tests and a speech due this week...:( So sorry for not updating sooner! :)
Theres a new post below, and just so everyones in the loop this season of Paris Persuasion will end soon, I have decided to keep writing her for a bit longer and I'll do my best to stay consistent but I hope people can understand I have a lot going on at the moment, I'm sure most of you will! :) :)
Thanks heaps guys, keep the comments coming I do love feedback! ;)
I know I didn't post for a week but I'm doing my best, school is totally killing me at the moment I had 3 essays 2 tests and a speech due this week...:( So sorry for not updating sooner! :)
Theres a new post below, and just so everyones in the loop this season of Paris Persuasion will end soon, I have decided to keep writing her for a bit longer and I'll do my best to stay consistent but I hope people can understand I have a lot going on at the moment, I'm sure most of you will! :) :)
Thanks heaps guys, keep the comments coming I do love feedback! ;)
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