Family Secrets

Dinner with Nathan was nice. I got to his apartment about 6pm, the poor boy looked so tired, I almost felt bad for being there, he should have been sleeping.
He opened the door in a hoodie and tracksuit pants, he looked so adorable.

“Hey, you look tired. Are you sure you want company?” I asked, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Yeah of course, plus I need a massage...” He said as he hugged me from behind, kissing my neck.

The rest of the night was fun; I made a pretty yummy dinner, stir fry with noodles! Nate fell asleep watching Spiderman, it was his choice. I dragged him to bed; he was insisting he was ‘just resting his eyes’. Sure. We got into bed and Nathan asked something I didn’t hear, his voice was muffled against my hair, my head was lying on his chest.

“Pardon?” I asked, circling my finger against his stomach.

“I said, do want to know why my mum and I have so many problems.” He asked.

“If you want to tell me I want to know.” I said pulling back and looking at him.

“My...well my dad committed suicide...” He said gulping, I realised this was probably to stop himself from crying.

“Nate I’m so sorry. I had no idea. How long ago?” I asked.

“When I was 16, he uhh he walked in on my mum...with somebody else, and two days later he killed himself.”He said barely holding it together. “The kicker? The guy mum was with was West.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was too shocked. “Oh. I...I Don’t know what to say. That must have been horrible for you, all of you.”I said looking at him; he was looking straight up at the ceiling.

“Yeah it’s hard when we all go there and West is in my dad’s house...you know sitting in the same chair as him. West is an ok guy, but honestly Paris when I am around him it takes everything for me to be civil. They were married less than a year later too...”

“God Nate that must have been horrible. I understand why you’re angry. I am really sorry Nate.”

A couple of tears escaped his eyes, he quickly wiped them. His moment of vulnerability was over, at least with his family stuff...

“It’s not your fault. I haven’t really told anyone about that before, so it’s between us ok?” He said quietly.

“Yeah of course, but Nate if there is anything ever you want to talk to me about you can. Anything.” I added.

He gave me a quick kiss and pulled me back into his chest, and he slept soundly for the rest of the night. I was going to tell him that I had lost my dad to, but it didn’t feel like the right time.