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Saturday, July 31, 2010


When I got to Nate’s just after nine I was more than buzzed, definitely bordering drunk. Well if tonight’s the night then at least ill have confidence I guess!

“Hey Nate.” I said when he opened the door, judging by his amused expression I knew he could see I had, had a couple of drinks.

“Hey, you look beautiful.” He said sweetly.

“Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself.” I said while wrapping my arms around his waist. He smiled, and looked at my curiously.

“We have quite a routine going on here...”I joked.

“We do, hope you’re not getting sick of me yet.” He laughed.

“Never.” I smiled.

“So had a couple of drinks with Zoe hey?” He said with a little smile as he noticed me swaying.

“Hmmm maybe...Ok yes.” I said with a cheeky smile and he laughed.

“Well has anyone told you, you look gorgeous after a couple of drinks?”

“Well the guy I hooked up with in the restaurant bathroom seemed to think so...”
Nathans face was painted with panic for a second, before he realised I was obviously joking and he visibly relaxed.

“haha your very funny...” his voice thick with sarcasm.

“Oh Nate come here I was just kidding,” I said while hugging him.

Then we started making out, exactly like the first night when I stayed over. This time though there was more of an urgency that I hadn’t felt since the night Nate and I were going to have sex. Slowly clothes were being peeled off and I silently cursed myself for drinking tonight, I didn’t want to be a drunken slob for our first night.

Again Nathan pulled away...

“You have no idea how much I want to do this, like no idea. But I just can’t...You have been drinking, and I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and regret it.” He said slightly out of breath and his cheeks blushing.

“Ok seriously I really want to do I won’t regret it I promise! I haven’t had that much to drink and I don’t know if I can wait any longer. The build up is too much!” I sounded desperate but I didn’t care, I wanted him more then I have wanted anyone.

“I’m sorry Paris, I can’t...I wish I could but I can’t!”Desperation reeked from his voice to.

“Hmph fine well let’s just watch the movie then.” I said with mock-annoyance as I snuggled close to him. Honestly I was glad. I didn’t want to waste our first time. This boy is special, I mean how many football players would say no to a girl because she had, had too much to drink? Nathan is special!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Girly Time

I got to work early that day I did too much worrying about Nathan and me and to sleep very well and wanted to get a jump start on work. The first email I opened when I got to work was from Dish the Dirt, alerting me of the split between Nathan Luken and Katie Santsee. Nathan and I didn’t talk about the lunch or what had happened, I was grateful for it to be honest. I didn’t want to hear anymore about them then I had to.

Around 11am Zoe came running in “PARIS, PARIS, Have you seen DTD this morning?” She was bellowing.

“Keep it down Zoe! And yes I have seen it!” I smiled.

“So what are you guys officially?” She asked breathless with excitement.

“I...Where having fun I guess.” I wasn’t really sure of the answer to that question
“Well that good, nothing serious, casual and all of that!” Zoe’s excitement had significantly decreased. Just because the world now knew that Nathan was single, what did she expect? We were having fun.

Zoe and I decided to go out for Sushi and cocktails for dinner, and have some girly time.

“So how’s Nathan in bed?” Zoe asked.

“Really Zoe?” I laughed.

“Come on we work at a woman’s magazine, it’s virtually our job to talk about SEX.” Zoe laughed; an older couple looked over at us disapprovingly.

“Well there isn’t much to tell, we haven’t yet...” I said to Zoe’s shocked expression.

“Are you serious? But you have stayed over at his house, and you told me you guys almost did it!”

“I don’t know, I told him I wasn’t ready yet...I think I am ready now but it’s like an awkward topic to bring up?”

“So don’t bring it up, just don’t stop making out. You know how to give subtle hints don’t you?”

“Yeah I think I will, anyway how are you and Mark going?” I asked trying to deflect attention of my sex life.

“Mark and I are good, he is so sweet, I really like him Paris.”

“Aw Zoe your smitten! Are you exclusive yet?” I asked.

“We are very much exclusive and we are also having sex regularly! I can’t believe you haven’t banged Nathan yet.”

“Shut-up seriously, you know we started in a weird situation.”

“I know, I know relax! I’m just surprised that’s all, are you seeing him tonight?”

“I don’t know, maybe it would be better to leave it for tonight, we have spent the last two nights together...”

“Yeah maybe...” Zoe started to say something but was interrupted by my phone, Nathans name was lighting up the screen.

“It’s Nathan...”

“Answer!” Zoe nearly screamed, I realised we were both a little past buzzed off our cocktails.

“Hey Nate.”

“Hey Paris what you up to?”

“Just hanging out with Zoe, having cocktails.”

“Oh cool, what are you doing later? Want to come watch a movie, maybe sleepover again?” he asked carefully.

“Hmm that sounds good, I will probably see you in like an hour?”

“Ok can’t wait.” I could tell he was smiling.

I relayed the conversation back to Zoe and she is convinced tonight will be ‘the night’, I am not so sure.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Authors Note!

Hey everybody,

Just thought I'd let you all know that I have scheduled some posts for the next week or so...I have my Grandpa's 90th birthday party and I am leaving for a 10 hour drive to the beach tomorrow!
So if I dont reply to comments or anything, I will just give me some time! I love comments!! :)

I hope you all have a lovely week and Ill let you know when I am back!

Also can I add a special thankyou to Alicia and J'et who have been extra supportive of me since starting the blog! :)

<3 Amy


P.SS New post below! :)

Hanging Out

“So you were going to leave without saying goodbye this morning?” Nathan asked watching me curiously.

“I was just going to let you sleep.” I said with a smile.

“Hmmm sure I bet you were going to use me for my make-out and self control ability.” he said smiling.

“You caught me!” I said throwing some bread that was on the table at him.
We went on like that for a while, laughing and throwing small bits of bread at each other, no one really seemed to care. Usually I hate the couples in restaurants attracting attention, but being with Nathan really made me I guess. Oh and we did clean up to! ;)

“So when does practice start?” I asked.

“Soon, middle of next month.”

“Oh well you won’t be so available then will you?”

“It will definitely change, but I really like you Paris I don’t just want this to be a ‘off season fling’.”

“An ‘off season fling’ hey? I like you to Nate, I don’t want it to change either.” I said mildly pouty

“Well will just make time for each other, deal?”

“Deal! And seeing as we have to make the most out of the time we have left, do you want to come for a sleepover at my place?”

“I would LOVE to come over!” he said smiling.

We headed back to my place, and again I had an anxious moment! Oh God do I have to sleep with him because I asked him to stay over? God this sex issue is causing so much stress! I need to learn to relax, go with the flow! I think I’ll try that tomorrow.

Again we just watched a movie, and snuggled. Audrey kept her distance which surprised me, I thought she would be all over him; instead she introduced herself and the three of us chatted easily for a while.

We were watching ‘Taken’, LOVED IT! Seriously Liam Neeson, amazing! I still snuggled up to Nate, and got a little teary towards the end. I didn’t let him see that though, I blinked back the tears!

After the movie we just got into bed, and talked for a while before falling asleep, it was so easy being around him; I loved how I could just be myself around him and I felt like he could be with me to. I woke up with a massive smile on my face, and then it hit me I was really falling for him. Before it was kind of a dream, dating a football star who is actually sweet and funny, again something hit me at full force it probably won’t last to much longer regardless of what he said last night! I mean really he was young, sexy and famous why would he want to be tied down? Geez maybe it was more complicated being around him then I thought.

Monday, July 26, 2010

No Pressure

I arrived at Nathans at around 7:15, I wanted to be ‘fashionably late’ while still looking like I cared. I walked into his beautifully furnished apartment (his sister decorated it apparently), I have never smelt anything so yummy scented by Nathans cooking, he was dressed in black trackies and grey hoodie. I felt a little silly in my above the knee length dress, legging and black boots.

“Paris, hey!” His smile was so genuine and sweet as he welcomed me into his home.

“Hey, thanks for inviting me...I didn’t know what to bring, so I just brought some wine.”

“You didn’t have to but thankyou because wine is the one thing I had forgotten.” God his smile still dazzled me.

Now that the pleasantries were exchanged, we were faced with an awkward situation do we kiss, hug? Instead he just bent down and kissed my cheek.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t have a chance to get dressed give me two minutes, make yourself at home oh did you wanna pick a CD to put on? There just over there by the coffee table...”

He went and got changed at my nod. I was lazily flicked through the cd’s while looking around his apartment. The apartment was beautiful, two large living areas, kitchen was one of the nicest I have ever seen, all sleek new appliances, my eyes then went to the door in which Nathan had entered.

Nathan had left the door open a crack, and a strategically placed mirror allowed me a full of view of Nathan getting dressed. I tried to look away, but I couldn’t his beautiful chest made me want to lick honey off of it (I don’t even like honey)! He turned around and I saw his back and his beautiful bum. I don’t know about everyone else but I have a massive thing for like back muscles! The door opened and I spun around, pretending to look at the cd’s...

“See anything you like?” he said with a cheeky grin.

“Excuse me?” I went a deep red, God I hope he didn’t notice.

“Cd’s? Anything?” he was studying my face, with a confused look.

I regained my composure pretty quickly but he still looked at me curiously, “uh, yeah is this mix ok?”


He cooked some beautiful linguini with a white truffle sauce yummy, to be honest I have never tasted something sooooo good! Also I am a pretty awful cook, and I haven’t been living at home for a while so I was due for a home cooked meal!

“Did you want to watch a movie? Or did you have to go home?” He asked while cleaning up the mess, I offered to help but he told me to sit down.

“I would love to, it’s only early!” I gave him my sweetest smile.

I silently wondered if he thought we were going to have sex tonight, we were close on our last date but for me it’s like we are starting again a clean slate...

We watched ‘Sorority Row’ wasn’t a great movie to be honest; it was more the kind of movie you pay out while watching, although seeing as I am a big baby I did get a little scared and Nathan snuggled up to me...


The movie finished and we just chatted for ages! It was midnight before I knew it; I get seriously cranky without my sleep, and I had an early meeting!

“Oh my God, Its midnight! I better get going” I said while putting my boots on.

“Did you just want to stay over?” Seeing my concerned expression, he added “We don’t have to do anything I just...l mean so it’s easier for you, I’ll take the couch if your more comfortable.”

“I guess that makes sense, and you don’t have to take the couch...I am just not ready to you know have sex, I know that is kind of weird seeing as we almost did it-” Nathan cut me off.

“Seriously Paris don’t feel pressured, I am happy to wait.”

“Well that is very gentleman like Nate!” I said in a mock snob voice. He smiled a stupidly big smile in return.

Nathan got me one of his shirts, it was so big and comfy I love wearing boyfriend’s (not that Nathan is a boyfriend) shirts to bed, it makes me feel so girly and protected! I know that I don’t need a man to feel protected but I do like the comforts of actually having a boyfriend! ;)

Nathan kept his promise and didn’t pressure me, although we did have a pretty intense makeout session, his 5 o’clock shadow was burning my chin and my lips were dry, it was the last thing on my mind. I was extremely close to just having sex with him! Clothes were coming off (his) but suddenly he stopped.

“Uh Paris, we really have to stop because soon I am not going be able to keep my hands off you and I know you’re not ready so...” his breath matched mine hard and fast

“Good decision.” I said to which Nathan shook his head as if to say “I am sooo stupid”

We soon fell asleep and I woke up at 8 deciding not to wake Nathan, just as I was about to leave he woke up and gave me a big kiss and asked me for dinner again tonight.

The ladies at work each had a jab at me; 1) because it was obvious I hadn’t really slept 2) I was in virtually the same outfit as yesterday and 3) I had massive pash rash all over my face and also one large hickey which I didn’t see earlier! All in good fun I suppose...

Saturday, July 24, 2010


I told Audrey all about my Nate drama; she listened like a friend and promised that she wouldn’t write a story about it until the news broke officially (then it was fair game) and she wouldn’t mention anything about the fake relationship or that Nathan and I technically started dating before the ‘announcement’.

“Hey Paris you really like him don’t you?”

“Yeah I think that I do” I smiled

On Monday I was waiting for a phone call from him, I knew that he would probably wait until I finished work but I kept checking my phone and nothing. I couldn’t concentrate on work at all; Zoe noticed and decided to take me to lunch to get my mind off Nathan.

“How’s Halley going?” I asked knowing the answer.

“Horrible, seriously Paris I honestly don’t know what to do with her. I don’t really want to talk to Minnie I don’t think I could ever get anyone fired...”

“You know I am not the biggest fan of Hally, but she isn’t doing her job properly, Minnie got you an assistant to ease your work load not to make it bigger...”

“I know I am going to have a chat with her when we get back and give her a chance.”

“Great, well at least you have a plan.”

We spent the rest of lunch chatting about everything, work and the new celebrity interview we are trying to get and my mum and Ray who are leaving for Europe today, and her parents (she doesn’t get along to well with them, they hated that she went into journalism, they wanted her to be a lawyer), her brother and her sisters (all who she is very close with).

We got back to the office about an hour later, but Minnie told me to just go home. She said I had worked really hard the last few weeks and deserved an afternoon off that would have been awesome if Nathan had called me...

I went to the gym, brought some groceries, I cleaned the apartment, cooked dinner, and cleaned out my wardrobe all before 5pm. At exactly 5 Nathans name lit up my caller id.

“Hey Nate.” I tried sounding cool but I sounded so excited which is how I felt.

“Hey, I thought you’d still be at work I was going to leave a voicemail.” He sound sounding suprised.

“No, I actually got the afternoon off!”

“Oh really? You should have called me we could have gone out.” He sounded a little disappointed.

“Well if I called you it would have looked a little desperate!” I laughed.

“I was trying to play it cool too, I have been awake since 7am just waiting for 5 o’clock,” he said laughing.

“Well that’s a bit cute.” I said smiling.

“So did you want to go dinner tonight?”

“Well you know a lady isn’t supposed to accept a date so late...” I said coyly.

“But that’s why I like you, you’re not afraid to break the rules.”

“Ok fine, just this once.”

“Well how about I cook you dinner at my place? I’ll text you the address is 7 ok?”

“7 sounds perfect!”

Thursday, July 22, 2010


*Short post I know, I promise I will try to make them longer!

On Saturday I spontaneously to go home for the night, it was only about a three hour drive from Sydney and I hadn’t been home in a while and thought it was about time for a visit.

I went straight over to my sister’s house, I hadn’t seen her in about two months and she was entering her sixth month of pregnancy and according to my brother in law was becoming quite unpleasant with the pregnancy hormones raging through her body.
Grace and I were always close; she is two years older than me, she was married at 22 and fell pregnant at 24, Grace and Simon were high school sweethearts. My mum wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of her marrying so young, but she accepted it and her and Simon really do love each other.

Grace and I had a blast, we went shopping for some baby clothes, and she asked about the boys in my life I told her about Nathan, she and Simon followed football avidly and she knew all about him.

“Woah you left here like 3 months ago and already dating a football star...”

“I am not dating him! He has some issues he has to work out.”

“Ok, sorry not dating almost had sex with, has almost nightly conversations with AND is breaking up ‘officially’ with his girlfriend to maybe have a shot at a relationship with you.”

“Shut up; let’s go see mum and Ray.

So that’s what we did, mum and Ray are going to Europe on Tuesday travelling everywhere. Mum had been before, but this time they were doing it style. In my mind my trip home was spontaneous, but in mum and Rays mind this was a thoughtful goodbye which I had been planning for ages...

Everyone took turns at good-naturedly poking fun at me about Nate and my articles in Radiance. Mum had collected all of them so far; I decided I probably wouldn’t tell her about my upcoming debut in the sex section of the magazine.
We went out for dinner and had a lovely time, it was nice to be home I hadn’t realised how much I had missed everyone.

On Sunday I went home, I made mum and Ray promise to take a picture of every sign of the new city, I had so many pictures from when I went overseas I got a massive memory board and put all the photos on it!

I was so to be home on my own, but Audrey and I ended up watching movies and having girl time and soon enough Sydney felt like my home again.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Uncool Zoe, Uncool

*This was going to be two posts but I made it one, to keep my promise to Sweetcanadian!!!

The date was, well it was terrible...

I got there and immediately Zoe mouthed “I am so sorry.” I soon realised what she was sorry for and his name was Dave.

The date started nice enough, he complemented me on my outfit (jeans, boots and a faux brown leather jacket) and asked me about my job, my family everything. When the food came is where things started going downhill.

“So fashion magazines hey? Don’t you feel a little selfish, parading these high price items when most of the world can’t even afford it?” Dave asked rudely.

“Have you ever read Radiance? Because if you did, you would see we have different sections for all budgets” I retorted.

“Well that’s not really the point; I mean what about all those people who can’t even afford basic necessities?”

“Ok, and what exactly do you do?”

“I am an accountant...”

“Ah yes, saving the world one rich bastard at a time...” I was getting defensive
We had more back and forth and like that for while, until it was time for the movie. Zoe and Mark were looking extremely uncomfortable.

OMG ECLIPSE WAS AWESOME, it almost made me forget about the horrible company. One the plus side though Zoe and Mark get on amazingly, he is so sweet to her and you can tell he really cares about her.

I got in the cab with Zoe and Mark, I insisted on them taking me home because Dave asked if I would like to go home with him, I promptly said no and that I had a very important appointment in the morning that I couldn’t miss (seeing as tomorrow is a Saturday I suspect he thought something fishy was up).

“Mark, what the hell? Does he seem like the kind of guy I would go out with?” I was asking him while laughing remembering the horrible night.

“Zoe gave me no notice so I just picked a guy from work... I am sorry it was a horrible night wasn’t it?” Mark said.

“Not so bad for me,” Zoe said while cuddling up to him. Mark smiled at her.


I got home at like 11pm and wondered if it was too late to call him...

“Hey it’s me, Paris”...

“Hey Paris, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you,” Nathan sounded distracted.

“Sorry, it this a bad time?”

“No, no what have you been up to?” he still sounded strange.

“I was just on the horrible date, and I wanted to talk to someone who doesn’t want to make me scream,” oh shit, I just told him about my date.

“Oh, you went on a date?” His said it as more of accusation

“Yeah, Zoe set me up...”

Awkward silence

“Oh ok, so it wasn’t fun?” he obviously wasn’t really listening to me. I definitely shouldn’t have mentioned it, this conversation was worse than the date.

“I am going to go, you sound busy,”

“Paris wait I am sorry I am just distracted, I will call you soon,”

I am so stupid; I really need to figure out what I want from Nathan. I obviously only told him that to make him jealous and now I am regretting it.

Five minutes late my phone rang, blasting Katy Perry California Gurls.

“Hey Paris, I am sorry I was such a dick, Uhh tell me about your terrible date...”

“You weren’t a dick, I am sorry I shouldn’t have done that, I just wanted to someone to talk to about it but you are not the right person for that.”

“No come on, I have to know what my competition is doing wrong.” he laughed.

“He wasn’t competition...” my face immediately went a deep red I could feel it, thank god we were on the phone.

“Oh really?” I could just hear him smirking.

“Shut up, I meant we just didn’t have as much fun as you and I have together.

We talked for ages after that, he talked about his family, and football, the fans he has to deal with. I talked more about my family, and friends, and stories from when I travelled Europe.

“Hey we’ve been talking for nearly 2 hours; you better rest that pretty little head of yours” I joked.

“We have too, I haven’t talked on the phone this long since I was at school,” he was laughing and I suddenly felt like I had to ask him something.

“Nate, have you talked to Katie yet?”

He let out a big breath, “I have, but she wants to meet me before we tell the media and everything, she wants to make a big deal out of the announcement, I told her people probably don’t care that much but again she wants her publicity. I think I am meeting her on Sunday for lunch.”

“Ok, well I better go but tonight was nice, I mean chatting to you was nice...”
“Yeah it was.”

“Hey Nate, call me on Monday ok...” I may have sounded a little desperate but I didn’t care

He let out a soft laugh, “Yeah I’ll call you Monday.”

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Morning Meeting

*Sorry for the short post, I wanted to have two parts! :)

“Good morning everyone, welcome to the weekly meeting, let’s keep it brief who wants to start?” Minnie was obviously tired this morning, she loved the meetings usually.

“I will, the Nathan Luken interview will be in next month’s issue but we are really having trouble finding a title, does anyone have ideas?” Said the features editor Belinda, she was clearly exhausted she looked like she hadn’t slept in a week.

“Sexy man of football” Woohoo my suggestion, I loved getting in early.

“Sexy six pack?” The worst title I had ever heard came out of Hally (pronounced Hay-ley) me and her were not getting along well. She started the same time as me, as an assistant to Zoe (beauty editor) she was angry because I had a couple of stories printed already, and she had not. Also Zoe didn’t like her because she was hopeless and rarely remembered anything, but of course Zoe wouldn’t say anything because she is too nice. Minnie was getting fed up to because Hally obviously wanted to be in the fashion section of the magazine, and made no apologies about trying to get there. Usually I respected someone who fought for what they wanted, but Hally wasn’t doing her job properly which made Zoe mad, which made me mad.

Zoe and I were pretty good friends at this point, she listened to all my Nate drama. I felt like I couldn’t really talk to Audrey, she was working hard for a story and I was afraid she would use my information about Nathan again.

“I like Paris’s suggestion, but it needs some work almost right,” said Minnie
The meeting went for another 30 minutes, and was mostly ok.

“Hey Zoe, do you want to go watch Eclipse tonight? I knew she was dying to see it, and I didn’t want to be alone on a Friday night.

“Yes please, let’s go out for dinner first...Also can I bring Mark (the guy from the bar they had been dating for about a month now)? I said I would hang out with him tonight, I’ll get him to bring a friend with you!”

“Zoe, bring Mark...But please get him to bring a friend, I don’t want to date anyone.”

“No, you need to get out of your Nathan funk! IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON!” She was being pushy, but I know I did need to get out of my bad mood.

“Fine, will meet at that Chinese place at 8.”

“Yay, OK well I got to actually do some work.”

Why did I agree to this? I guess maybe it could be fun...

Authors Note!

Hey guys,

Just want to say thankyou to those who are commenting and my 8 followers! :)
I just thought I would let you know that the posting will be changing slightly! I am going back to school after a month off so I am not to sure how that will affect posting! :)

I know that I will definetly have at least three posts a week (there will be bonus posts sometimes)! :)

I will regularly check comments and emails and things so if you need to get a hold of me for whatever reason dont hesitate! :) :) :)

Also I am going away in the next couple of weeks, my grandpa's 90 birthday! I will let you know of anything that will effect posting! I am pretty confident you guys wont notice a huge change!

Woohoo also I am putting up a bonus post later, just have to edit it! :)

<3 Amy

Friday, July 16, 2010

You Got Some Explain' To Do

I was in a funk; after my great night turned to disaster I was mad at everyone especially Nathan. I hadn’t spoken to him in a week, not from a lack of trying on his behalf. I had many calls, texts, facebook messages and emails (did people really still email...Apparently they did).

My work however was not suffering; I had busted out story after story about break-ups, betrayal and bad boys, I am not really sure that I did actually break-up with Nathan because it was only two weeks but it still stung.

Minnie was impressed with the amount of work I was putting in; I even got a one published which is really rare as an editor’s assistant.

The phone rang for about the 100th time that morning, I bet it was Nathan again!!! This was getting ridiculous!

“Good morning Radiance magazine. This is Paris.”

“Paris, don’t hang up. Just listen.”

“I am at work Nathan I don’t have time for this...”

“Fine, I’ll meet you after work I’ll be waiting in the lobby for you.” He said nervously.

“Nathan, NO.” I was trying to keep a low voice but it started to rise, it was too late anyway he had already hang up.

I worked a little later on purpose; I wanted to make him nervous. I made my way down the elevator, I saw him standing at the entrance pacing. My heart immediately started beating a 100 times faster.

“Hey Paris.” he went in for a kiss and immediately realised that was inappropriate and stumbled, needless to say it was a very awkward beginning.

“Hello.” It seems I was the queen of being Icy around him.

“Did you want to go for dinner or coffee or something?”

“Yeah, ok coffee sound fine”

We went to coffee; it was obvious he wanted to start explaining but was waiting for the right moment. He began to talk, and was immediately interrupted by the waitress.

“Hey your Nathan Luken, can I have a picture?” she was giggling like an idiot.

He shot me an apologetic look, “Yeah, sure.” She attempted to make small talk about his team, where his first game was and why wasn’t he captain yet because he totally LIKE deserved it. Nathan answered all her questions politely, but it was obvious he was uncomfortable.

“So what about your girlfriend you guys still together?” she said while eyeing me.

I couldn’t take it anymore; I chucked 5 bucks on the table to pay for my coffee and I walked out. I knew I might be being childlike but I didn’t care, I was jealous and couldn’t stand to hear about his stupid girlfriend or whatever the hell she was...

“Paris, wait come on hold up!” He was doing a sexy half jog my heart leapt again.

“What? Nathan just tell me what you want to say!” I was agitated and envious and I needed to get out of there.

“Uh, I...Umm l really don’t know what to say, Katie called me begging to have dinner with her, she said she hadn’t seen me in ages and I was still her boyfriend for the media purposes and she just wanted to catch up...”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” I was pleading with him now, so embarrassing we haven’t even made it official yet...

“I don’t know I thought you might be upset, we were having so much fun and I just didn’t want you to think I was being shady, which I realise now is stupid.”

“Look I am going to be honest with I am not one to go after someone else’s boyfriend, even if it’s just to help her out...Obviously she still wants something from you and I don’t want to be THAT girl...” He immediately looked sad, and my heart broke a little, because I had pretty much told this almost perfect guy I couldn’t be with him until he sorted his shit out.

“I respect that, and I am going to fix this mess, it’s gone on too long, I mean I was happy to pretend when it wasn’t affecting me but now it’s getting in the way of my life.” He blushed and was obviously thinking about the almost sex that occurred between us.

“Well I guess call me when you figure it all out, because I really like you but I just don’t like the drama...”

With that I kissed him on the cheek and walked home...I really hope I was making the right decision.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

So Close Yet So Far...

Two weeks later

Nathan and I had, had the most fantastic two weeks, we had been several dates but still all we had done was kissed...Tonight though Nathan took me up to this beautiful look out, we had a view of the beach and of the city lights.

He brought out the champagne and a little picnic with my favourite food- vegetarian pizza. I was really loving where we were going, but I knew soon enough it would be football season and he would be training all the time.

“You’re so cute.” I said smiling.

“Well you deserve it; I have had heaps of fun with you over the last few weeks.” He flashed his famous dimple smile.

I started laughing nervously; I was never good in serious/emotional situations.

We spent the rest of the night joking around, I am just so comfortable around him, and he is so genuine and sweet. I can feel myself falling for him.

We sat and his back seat just looking at the view, his arm was wrapped around my waist protectively. I looked up at him and had this sudden desire. It wasn’t hard to lose myself when I was with him, he was so good looking and smart and funny. Then he kissed me, in a way that I hadn’t been kissed before, he was tender, and in control at the same time.

My whole body went crazy for him, this wasn’t our regular kiss it had way more urgency to it. I knew that I wanted him, more then I had wanted anyone before and I knew he wanted me...Let’s just say I could FEEL how much.

“So umm do you want to come back to my place?”I breathed.

“Yes I do.” immediately he began to hurry around, he packed up everything and we were soon driving to my apartment.

We greeted Leonard, a look of recognition for Nathan painted his face as he said hello.

The lift ride was the longest I had ever faced, it didn’t help that Nathan was kissing my neck and running his hands all over my body.

“Stop, please were almost there.”

“I have been kissing you like this for two weeks, what’s the problem?” I could tell he was smirking.

“Well I knew we wouldn’t end up in my apartment naked before then!”

“Wait we’re going to be naked?” he was still smirking.

The lift doors open and we practically ran to my door, I saw that Audrey’s stupid gossip magazine arrived. I bent down to pick it up and saw something the completely stole the moment.

Front page of Dish and Dirt showed me something that I didn’t expect to see, Nathan Luken and Katie Santsee together at the restaurant which Nathan took me to only 4 nights before.

“What the fuck Nathan?” until now he wasn’t even paying attention to what I was doing.

“What babe? Oh shit that’s not what he looks like, trust me...”

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


I woke up this morning unsure of where I was, and then it clicked. I was at Nathan Luken’s house. I was in his shirt, my dress lying over a chair...please tell me we didn’t have sex, oh no, no, no.

Then I remembered, we were talking in the club he just told me he didn’t actually have a girlfriend...

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked, I wasn’t sure if he was being honest or not.

“This is going to sound corny but I feel a connection with have a boyfriend don’t you? Of course you have a boyfriend."

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” I answered a little too quickly

“Oh ok, cool. Well you want to dance?” He sounded very relieved.

So we danced and we drank and had a great time. We decided to head home around 2am, I didn’t really want to go alone. So I went back to Nathans, and we laughed and we kissed. That is all we did, and he insisted that I take his bed, and he took the couch.

I woke up and got dressed back in my dress and heels, I went into the bathroom and fixed my hair and wiped under my eyes. I walked out to the lounge room, and was greeted by a half asleep Nathan. He was sitting on the couch, shirtless and he looked so good.


His head shot up, “Hey Paris, sleep ok?”

“Yeah good thanks, I think I could have slept anywhere,” I nervously laughed. “Well I better go; I am supposed to be meeting a friend in Bondi for some shopping...”

“Thanks heaps for uhh last night,” he got up to hug me.

“No worries, thanks for explaining everything,” I hugged him and when he pressed his body against mine, I felt his every muscle, and I began going red trying to keep those dirty thoughts out of my head.

Then he kissed me again, he was so tender and my whole body responded to the kiss. My heart was beating so fast, I had goose bumps all over and the hairs on the back of neck stood up. He responded in the same way, and again we almost got carried away. I pulled back and immediately regretted it. We both began laughing nervously.

“Call me during the week, I promise to actually answer this time.” I joked

“Ok, I’ll do that.” Then we whipped out his dimpled smile.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Can I Explain?

OMG, well last night things took a turn...Zoe (beauty editor at Radiance) and I went to dinner at this really trendy restaurant in the City, it was so yum and we were just enjoying the each other’s company as well as a few drinks.

“That was so yum, I’m not really tired do you want to go out to a club?” Zoe asked.

“Yes, so badly I haven’t been out since my first weekend in Sydney!” I couldn’t wait to just dance and forget all the drama from the last couple of weeks.

We got to the club, and ordered a couple of drinks; they were quickly paid for by the very cute guy standing next to us. He introduced himself as Mark, and was clearly interested in Zoe so I left them to it.

I began looking around, taking in everyone and watching the people dance, drink and talking (more like yelling the music was sooooo loud). Then suddenly I saw him, and we locked eyes.

“Hey Paris you look beautiful,” I actually felt pretty good, I was wearing this beautiful blue above the knee length dress, with my black heels (I am really short so I am forever in massive heels), and an arm of silver bracelets.

“Thanks Nathan, I was meaning to call you and thank you for the flowers but honestly I have been super busy.”I said lying through my teeth.

“Its fine, I don’t know why but I thought I should just explain some things about that interview.”

“You don’t really owe me any explanation or anything.”I said trying to avoid his stare.

“Please, I mean I know I sound desperate but I really just want to explain,” He was virtually pleading with me, poor guy.

“Ok, but you have to buy me a drink first.” Nathan let out a nervous laugh.

We were sitting in a quiet corner, well as quiet as you can get in a nightclub...

“I am really sorry, about how you found out about Katie.”He said.

“It’s none of my business really.”

“It is actually; well I mean there really is not much to tell...”
I finally realised what he wanted I was so stupid...

“Look if you want me to put Katie in the magazine, I really don’t have authority of that I guess I could talk to Minnie, but I don’t know...”

“Seriously Paris, let me finish please, me and Katie aren’t together anymore. We broke up a while ago, it’s just she has a television show in the works, and I agreed until it was off the ground I would pretend we were still together...I haven’t actually seen Katie for about 2 months...” He rushed through his little speech, he looked so nervous, I felt so sorry for him.

I looked at him in disbelief, the question that was still burning the back of my mind, why is he telling me all this?

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Ring, Ring

I got home at 6.30pm; Audrey was visiting her family this weekend so I had the house to myself. I love Audrey don’t get me wrong, it’s just that she tends to be a bit needy, so I was happy to have the apartment to myself.

I walked in flicking off my shoes and noticed the answering machine was flashing 2 new messages.

“Hey sweetie, its mum I haven’t heard from you in a while, give me a ring when you get this please, Love you darling.”

“Umm hey Paris, its Nathan I was just wondering if you got the flowers, I want to talk to you. Please call me back, my number is 040545....” Message deleted.

I didn’t understand why he was calling me, God if Audrey was here she would already be calling Dish the Dirt. That wasn’t the only message he had left me, my work phone had a message from him to. I wonder what this was about; I hope he didn’t think I was the one who had spilled the story to DTD.

“Hey mum it’s me”

“Hey sweetie, how are you? How’s work?”

“It’s all really good mum, I love it up here, but I miss everyone down there. I’m going to dinner with a friend from work tonight so that should be good.”

The conversation went like that, her worrying about me and me assuring her I was fine. Did I need money? Was I eating? Was the door locked? I guess that’s how most single parents are worrying about their kids, little did she know I was born for big city life, I was made for Sydney.

I guess mum wasn’t technically single anymore; she had met a great guy who my sister and I loved. His name was Ray, and he was a really cool guy. They met when I was 18, at the end of my rebellious period. Even then I knew Ray was right for my mum. After my Dad died when I was just 8, it took my mum a really long time to get back into the dating world, and to be honest it took me a long time to trust that everybody wasn’t just going to leave.

At 8 you really don’t understand death, no-one should ever have to understand death, but people do. We all survived, and are a closer family because of it.
My sister stayed in our town, and my mum had lots of friends and family. But sometimes I still felt guilty for leaving her. My sister was content to stay in town, meet a nice boy and settle down by the age of 23. I definitely didn’t want that life; I thought I had a greater purpose. I am sure some people laugh, because really am I changing the world working at Radiance? Well I didn’t really know how to explain it to everyone that it just felt right.

Anyway I have got to get ready for dinner...

Friday, July 9, 2010

Dish the Dirt

Today when I opened the webpage DTD or Dish the Dirt, the gossip magazine where Audrey works, the last thing I expected to read was a story about Nathan Luken and his Radiance interview...

The story read like this:

'DTD has it on good authority Nathan Luken was a very naughty boy at his Radiance interview earlier this week. Nathan was said to be flirting with a young staff member - who was supposably lapping up all the attention.
The other interesting thing that was reported, when the interviewer Leigh Stanhope asked the famous footy man that wears the number 12 jersey about his long term girlfriend Katie Santsee, Nathan was said to stutter through the answer. While the young woman who he was earlier said to be flirting with was said to be in a tizzy, during the rest of the interview. They pair were also spotted chatting at the end of the interview; can we expect a new romance brewing and an old romance fizzing out? DTD will have everything concerning Nathan Luken so watch this space.'

“AUDREY, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?” My voice broke the morning silence.

“Calm down sweetness, what’s up?” She asked.

“What the hell is this? I told you about the interview as a friend, not as a gossip columnist”

“Come on, seriously I didn’t mention any names, and I was desperate for a good story. I needed to be noticed my editor, don’t be mad at me...” She said in a fake baby face.

“You should have told me, I don’t want to feel like I can’t trust you.”

“Ok, I swear scouts honour it will never happen again, have you heard from him since the interview?”

“No, why would I he has a girlfriend...”

There was no way I was going to tell her about the flowers he sent me at work, the card read ‘Hey Paris, thanks heaps for keeping me entertained the other day. I want to explain some things to you, can you call me sometime?’

I promptly chucked out the card, and found a vase to put in the beautiful flowers. Not a chance that I was going to call him. He has a girlfriend after all.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Interview part 2

When the interview part of the day came, well it was full of surprises.

Leigh the features writer was conducting the interview; she is really smart and witty. Leigh was the perfect person to interview Nathan; she could get any information out of anyone. When I was interning she used her tricks on me, I ended up telling her all about my family and friends back home, it ended in tears on my part, but she was so warm and kind about everything it was hard to be angry at her using her talent to pry information out of me.

“So Nathan what is the most rewarding part of your job?”

“I think it’s the fact in my job, you get what you put it. If we all train hard, then can hopefully get a good result. Although I guess in everything you need a little bit of luck.” Then he flashed his beautiful dimples.

“So you have lots of support from your family and friends?”

“Oh yeah, they are really supportive. I have to credit my aunty and uncle especially, they have helped me heaps.” Hmm now I was really curious what about his parents?

“Great, what about your long term girlfriend Katie Santsee?” At that moment I had a coughing fit, Kate Santsee, one of Australia’s top models...

What’s wrong with me? Hmph I guess I am jealous; I liked him more than I thought.


Cue to Nathan looking extremely uncomfortable...

“Uh yeah we’ve been together about two and a half years, she is...sweet and funny.”

Cue nervous laughter.

Leigh could obviously sense the nervous vibe in the room, and steered away from questions relating to his girlfriend.

The interview went for another twenty minutes, to be honest I wasn’t listening, I guess I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. I started packing up the makeup and clothes.

“Hey Paris, thanks for today,”

“Just doing my job,” I was being icy; he was still the ‘celebrity’ we were interviewing so I had to be nice. I flashed him my brightest smile.

“Well thanks for listening me to me earlier, and for talking to me I had fun. Usually this interviews are torture...”He smiled.

“Seriously, no problem. I had a pretty good day to, enjoy getting that mascara off.” I grinned stupidly big.

He chuckled and flashed those sweet dimples at me, but his smile was shy.

He made my heart melt; I can’t be feeling that way about another woman’s boyfriend. I can’t.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Interview part 1

“AUDREY, why did you turn off my alarm? I am going to be sooooo late. Today is the interview with Nathan Luken, I am supposed to be his assistant for the day....”

“Sorry ok, jeez you looked tired, ohhh and also can you tell me if he has any diva tendencies? It would be the best story...”

“Uhh, whatever Audrey I have got to go!”

Despite waking up half an hour after I was supposed to, I only got to work 15 minutes late. Unlucky for me Nathan didn’t wake up late and everybody was waiting for me.

Needless to say Minnie wasn’t happy, I was instructed to do “Whatever it takes to keep Nathan happy.”

“I am so sorry Mr. Luken, did you want anything to eat or drink?”

“Uhh no thank you. but my name is Nathan, Mr. Luken was my dad. Hold on your Paris, you almost broke my shoulder like 2 weeks ago?” Did he have to flash those beautiful dimples at me?

Minnie was shooting daggers into the back of my head; I didn’t have to turn around to see that. My cheeks went bright red, and my answer to him was barely audible.

“Yeah that was me...Thanks for uhhh yeah, so anything you need?” God I’m embarrassing, I want to be a journalist and I can’t even string a sentence together.

“No I am good, so you liking your new job?”

We were suddenly alone and I was very aware that he was staring at me.

“I really like it, Kind of feels like it’s somewhere I should have always been you know?”

“Yeah I do, that’s how it feels for me on the footy field.”He smiled.

Deep conversation with a man I barely know, I definitely liked Nathan.

The make-up people came and made Nathan look well kind of weird to be honest, but I in front of the camera man did he look awesome. He was shy which made him even more adorable, he had this little smile on his face, he looked like he didn’t really want to be there. Then the Camera man called shirts off, Nathan blushed before removing his shirt.

Let’s just say I have an awesome job...

Authors Note!

Hey guys,

I was sooo excited about my followers, granted there is only three but I intend to make you three very happy...

Being that I live in Australia there is a time difference, so I was wondering when would you like me to post? I have written the next couple of posts already, I think that I am going to do short posts but have them pretty regulary.

I am kind of scared to do a posting schedule, just because I am a regular reader of many blogs and I cant help but feel a little disappointed when there isn't a post...Although I completley understand how posting schedules can get interrupted!

So just let me know what you want me to do! :)
Also I have written the next 3 posts so would you like me to post them straight away or would you prefer I spread them out! :-)

<3 Amy


I walked into my building and greeted Leonard my door man. Well to be honest it was Audrey’s door man, Audrey and I met at University when we were both studying journalism.

Audrey had this way of attracting everyone, she was beautiful but in a way that you had to study her to realise it, she had curves and new just how to dress them. We met the second day of university, we had all the same classes and I really wanted to know her story, growing up in a small town it was rare that I met someone I didn’t know.

I immediately took a liking to her, she had this air of confidence that I loved.

After we graduated we decided to move to Sydney, I had been dying to move out of my town for as long as I can remember. Audrey’s family was against the idea, and insisted on buying her an apartment for us to live together. I only had to pay $200 a month. The apartment was beautiful; we had a view of the city and when it was dark the lights almost made me cry, it was just so beautiful. We had our own rooms, and shared a bathroom which was a major cause of our fights.

While I decided that I would go into women’s magazines, Audrey decided to go into Gossip magazines. The job definitely suited Audrey. Audrey loved to gossip, I always came home to hear a new story about how blah, blah was pregnant with blah, blahs baby while she was still going out with some other blah, blah.

“Hey Paris, how was your first official day on the pay roll?”

“AMAZING...I love it there Audrey, ohhh and guess who I met? NATHAN LUKEN!”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS? OMG, anything I can use?”

“Really Audrey? No we didn’t even talk, I just bumped into him...”

That was Audrey always looking for a story, most of the time I didn’t mind but I felt oddly protective over Nathan, I didn’t know why I barely spoke to him...

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


My heals made that familiar clunk, clunk, clunk against the tiles from the entrance of Radiance.

I am sooooo excited to be starting my brand new job. Even though I'm starting at the VERY bottom...I interned at Radiance for 3 months through University, and I have a degree in Journalism and one day I hope to be the editor of Radiance.

Anyway I am the assistant for the assistant for the editor of the magazine, pathetic I know BUT everyone has to start somewhere.

As I was navigating my through the halls, I banged into to him, and by him I mean Nathan Luken. I remembered his face from the numerous newspaper articles; he was a football player and a very good looking one at that.

His smile was breath taking, with his perfect blue eyes, and his muscular body, he only had one imperfection on his face a small scar above his eye (which if I am begin honest only added to his charm). Nathan was easily the hottest guy I had ever seen.

“I’m so sorry, I am really late I didn’t even see you.”

“Don’t worry about it, I am Nathan” he said coolly while picking up the contents of my Gucci handbag (knock off).

“I’m sorry again Nathan.” I said while running away.

While I was turning the corner I heard “Hey I didn’t even catch your name.”

“Its Paris, my name is Paris”, I heard him chuckle behind me.

“Good morning Minnie, would you like a coffee of some breakfast?”

“Oh hello Paris, first day as an official member of staff?”

“Yes, thank you so much for taking a chance on me.”I smiled.

“Paris I know talent when I see it, and unfortunately you have to start at the bottom like everybody else, but you’re going to be very big in this industry."

“Thank you again Minnie for your confidence in me”

Minnie was the editor of Radiance; she was lovely and had definitely taken a liking to me. On my second week of interning with Radiance, I handed her a story something like “50 ways to please YOURSELF” and she loved it, she said it was a refreshing outlook.

Minnie had massive eyes and a big smile; she was tiny and easily fitted into the sample sizes that we often got from designers all over the world. Minnie was fairly easy going, but when it came to the magazine she was deadly serious. The week before deadline was madness here, but that’s what I love about this place.

“PARIS, can you please call Nathan Luken’s publicist and let him we want him in the October issue, and book a date for the photo shoot and interview please.”

“No problem Minnie,”

Little did I know that little interview would change my life, in a very extreme way.